Well, there's no going back now. Not only am I about to walk out of the office for the last time, my lovely (former) employer has just given me a generous chunk of newsprint to explain what I'm doing and why.
One thing I promise: this is the first and last time my photo will ever hit the front page of a national newspaper (today's Observer for the curious: the link's not live yet , but it will end up roughly here by tomorrow http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/review).
Now cowering in anticipation of the response.....
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I will be following your blog with interest and well wishes.
ReplyDeleteThe response? I just joined as your first follower and am looking forward to your insights, wit and willingness to journey this life of ours.
ReplyDeleteFollowing too after reading the Observer article. I thought it was great - raising the questions without being prescriptive about the answers. I'm not a mother yet, but I struggle to see any role models around me that I want to emulate. No-one seems to have a really good balance. Intrigued as to how you get on - good luck!
ReplyDeleteYou're speaking for a large (and often powerless) group of women - no pressure! Your previous track record and intelligence means you will create a workable solution for you - I am interested in your journey there. Perhaps it can in some way help me.
ReplyDeleteJust read your article in the Observer, and will be following your blog with interest. While not on the same scale as you I had a similar epiphany 6 years ago. I 'used to be' a medium powered businesswoman until my husband left me with two children aged 3 and 6, and I realised I would never see them if I kept working the hours that I did. I took voluntary redundancy and spent 6 months living off savings before deciding what to do next. I now work as a teaching assistant (short working days, 13 weeks holiday a year) and while the money is poor, our quality of life has been good.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well in your new role, make the most of the time with your son because it's precious time you will never get back again. Good luck.
I have just read your article and shall be following your blog. I understand how difficult it is for working mothers having been there myself. I have been the full time working mother, the part time working mother and the stay at home mother. I found being a full time mother too exhausting and I never had enough time with my children. The part time job was below my capabilities so was frustrating. I enjoyed my time as "housewife" it was good to be able to spend time with the children without any pressures from elsewhere. The pay off though is that I do not have a career to go back to. Whether I made the right choices I just don't know. I did what I considered to be best at the time.
ReplyDeleteMy children are now in their teens and with the future of an empty nest in mind I am now a research student at Oxford University. Who knows what may come from that?
Good luck - and enjoy your son.
As I read your article this morning I wondered why you hadn't mentioned the option of fathers being the primary caregiver.
ReplyDeleteThat seems to me the answer to many working families but it is given precious little attention. I understand that men still earn significantly more than women, but there are exceptions to this.
My partner and I are in our mid-30s and are considering a family but we are both agreed that he will be a stay at home Dad.
It is so frustrating that this is seen by most of the media as a 'women's issue'. We need to raise the bar of the argument.
Wonderful to read your article this morning; as the mother of three teenagers I'm at the ohter end of the mothering jouney but still wondering if the choices that we made were the right ones. As a full-time teacher I always intended to return to work, but couldn't bear to hand over the care of my precious boy. Fortunately we could afford to live on one salary at the time and place (Plymouth). Three children and seven years later, our move to the SE meant that I had to find Part-time work to help out the family finances. To this day I feel guilty about not giving our daughter the same time as our two boys. Having worked as a Suppley Teacher, in Sainsburys and as a Science Technician in the local VIth form college (all chosen with holidays/child-care in mind) I now work 4 days a week for a small publisher. It's really a full-time job; most part-time working mothers that I know work really hard whilst at work thus giving employers real value for money. Good Luck and try not to lose your self-confidence (a real hazard for full-time mothers).
ReplyDeleteJust read the Observer piece, which was fascinating. I'm two years' younger, also with small kids, and about to leave a full time job for a portfolio of politics, consultancy and policy writing. I'll keep on reading, and hope it goes well for both of us.
ReplyDeleteJust read your Guardian article. I thought it was a relatively thorough examination of what is such a charged emotional situation. I will be following with interest. Good luck with the journey. You can only learn and grow...
ReplyDeleteHi, just saw a link to this on twitter, I'm just working out my notice (6 weeks to go) before I take a career break to look after my 2 and 4 year old girls. I tried to do it all, and even just working 3 days it just wasn't work out for us. So instead I've started a little handmade jewellery business, but mainly it will be family life. will be interested to see how you get on! Good luck with it all.
ReplyDeleteread the observer piece as well. of course it is in our nature to pick everything we read apart (shouldn't it be more about parents, rather than just the woman, what is the role in all this of our desire to be identified by others as successful, etc). that being said, it is an issue i think so many of my friends (and myself) think about and struggle with. we may not be at the stage you are at (established career, child), but we are hoping to get there and thinking how best to go about it. accounts like yours at least make us feel like there is someone out there we can take inspiration from.
ReplyDeletebest of luck to you. i hope you are currently relaxed with some wine in celebration :)
p.s. welcome to oxford!
ReplyDeleteFollowed the link from the Observer and came here. Good Luck with your decision! Will be following your blog with interest.
ReplyDeleteUttara
www.likhati.com
I hope that you find a way to get the rabid hyenas out of the house that doesn't lead to you chewing your arm off out of boredom. Here in Atlantic Canada life is more about family and home than it is about career (because there are damn all good jobs), so your choice would be much more common here than it seems be in Western Europe. I look forward to your account of your journey with interest, because it is a choice more people should be able to make. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI have, like most other people here, it seems, just read your article in the Observer... It's a world apart from my own experience (late 20s, male, single, job I love), but it's great to read about your ability to make a decision to put your family and relationships first. I hope that if I get to that stage, I'll have the guts to do the same thing.
ReplyDeleteHi! I saw your link from the Guardian website. I can't believe that the woman in the picture with the boy and the one in the mug shot are one and the same.
ReplyDeleteI left my job 5 years ago when my husband took on an overseas posting. Since then, our family of 4 have been travelling around the world. Family vs work - I often wonder about my options. http://mzinlalaland.blogspot.com/2009/06/i-am-mother-hear-me-roar.html.
I was recently put into the position of having to take a 6 month sabbatical (just as my maternity leave was coming to an end) to look after my 14 month old son first when he was hospitalised and then when childcare arrangements fell through. A month into my sabbatical and I am seriously considering whether I want / need to go back to work at all. It was great to read your article. I'll definitely be following your blog. And not all Mums who get together talk about Jcloths!! (I confess I don't even know what a Jcloth is).
ReplyDeleteHi Gaby – great article. As a fellow freelancer for the Guardian/Obs, among other publications – although for the Guardian mainly, and being someone without kids to this point! – I can recommend this way of life, although it obviously has its pits and troughs like anything else. However, it really angers me to read here that you did 18-hour days for the Observer when you were 8 months pregnant...you poor woman! And have to prove yourself all over again going back to work! Bloody ridiculous. Of all employers, you'd hope that the country's most liberal paper group would be more understanding. How depressing to hear we've still got a long way to go.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who is a correspondent for the FT, and currently on maternity leave with her first child, who's coming over here later – will tell her about this article, and perhaps you can swap experiences. For now, GOOD LUCK, though, and good on you for writing that piece – and I hope it makes everyone at your old HQ, and in parliament, sit up and take notice.
Jude x
In your article you talk about the Dutch model of parents working one and a half jobs. My partner and I have been doing this for 7 years. Lots of other parents expressed how they thought we had the perfect balance (we did this out of necessity, I'm not sure if they would have enjoyed the smaller income). Doing this however incurs extra costs which are frustrating. For example: when one of us works the other stays at home to do childcare, however we do not benefit from savings on train fares on a travelcard. This applied in London when we lived there. We now live outside London but commute into it to work, and it is more acute. The weekly travelcard is £100 but we have to pay daily fares of up to £40 each so in effect it can cost us £80 a week to have a "job share". It's an extreme example but something like an introduction of a 'parent travelcard' (where 2 parents could use one card) would really help parents share the work/childcare. I keep meaning to persuade someone? it would be a helpful, practical, green concession to working parents but hey I'm always too busy with my work, life balance...agghhh
ReplyDeleteI've just read your article in Guardian and followed the link here. Our situation is slightly different, but there are some common points, too (I live in Budapest, born in the same year, have two daughters, stayed at home for almost ten years, started translation years ago as a way of working from home, now juggling family, translations and a part-time job). I put your blog into my favourites. Wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteCharlotte, the travelcard thing is a really good point. Am planning to shamelessly abuse my old contacts by rounding up all the practical stuff like this and forwarding it to the review that's just started at the Dept of Work and Pensions on encouraging part time work (and to any other interested politicians). Anyone else with similar grievances please share them! And Jude, hello - fab to hear from another freelancer! Have to admit the 18hour days were my fault as much as anything. I was so determined that people shouldn't think i wasn't on top of things just because i was pregnant - mad really - should've put my feet up, doubt anyone would've thought worse of me
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